CHAPTER 79
SHLOBOSENKOSI MAVIMBELA

I’m sitting at the back of my mother’s house,
drinking cognac straight from the bottle. I’m
hoping it numbs the pain I’m feeling in my
heart right now. I went to see Naledi at the
lodge in Shelly Beach earlier today and I found
her sitting in bed with Vhutshilo. I died a
million deaths seeing her that close with a
man who confessed his undying love for her.
She’s vulnerable right now and I’m scared he
might use the situation to his advantage. The
thought of Naledi doing something with
Vhutshilo or any other man feels like someone
plunged a knife into my heart and they are
twisting it.
I love that woman with every fiber of my
being. I know for a fact that Londeka is
wrong, there’s no way I fathered her. If I did
aq%qqqqqthen I wouldn’t be feeling this way
about her, I wouldn’t be finding it difficult to
breathe without her by my side. She’s my
whole world and I don’t know how they
expect me to live without her. I cannot wait
for the results to come back and prove them
wrong. I am impatiently waiting for the day I
get to hold Naledi in my arms again and hear
her tell me how much she loves me and how
terrible she has been missing me.
“Shlobo,” I turn my head to the corner of the
house and find Londeka standing there. She
looks normal today. She’s wearing a nude
maxi dress and Gucci wedges, her long weave
is falling over her shoulders, this gift must be
making good money for her.
“I thought you’re always dressed in your white
garments, you look too normal,” she chuckles.
“No, I have regular clothes,” she mutters,
walking toward me.
“What are you doing back here?” she asks and
I take a gulp of my drink.
“Drinking my heart ache away. My wife thinks
I’m her father, thanks to you. I can’t wait for
the test results to come back and prove you
wrong,” she heaves a sigh.
“Shlobo, the results won’t come back saying
the opposite of what I told you and you know
it. You already know this, come on,” I shake
my head.
“How? How can she be my daughter huh?
Show me a father that gets hard for their
daughter. A father whose blood boils at the
sight of the so called daughter. I am fire and
Naledi is ice, only she can put out my fire and
I am the only one who can melt her ice. Can
that happen between father and daughter?”
tears are flowing freely down my cheeks.
“You both didn’t know Shlobo. You need to
accept this, she’s your child. Your father
wants the both of you cleansed and rituals
performed to welcome his granddaughter
home,” I cringe at the word granddaughter.
“She’s my wife,” it comes out in a whisper, “I
want her to be my wife. I don’t see myself
regarding her as anything but,” she gasps in
shock.
“You’d still want to remain married to her
even after the tests come back and prove
that I’m right?” she asks.
“Would it be such a bad thing?”
“Yes, it’s incest,” she answers quickly.
I drop the bottle of my hard liquor and wail.
This is too much, why is it happening to me?
Why couldn’t they stop us from meeting in
the first place? Why did they have to wait for
us to get married, conceive and lose a child
before they made us aware.
“You know I’m telling the truth, Shlobo. You
just don’t want to accept it because of what
has happened already. You’re disgusted with
yourself, ashamed. But I’m telling you that
you don’t have to be because you didn’t know.
You’re a great man and I know you’ll survive
this,” I shake my head.
“I won’t, she’s my lifeline. There’s no me
without her,” I don’t know how I’m expected
to fall out of love with her and see her as a
daughter.
.
.
.
I’m sitting in the back seat of Thalente’s car
with a hangover from hell, my mother threw
a fit when I wanted to have at least one glass
of cognac before we left.
Thale is driving MaZikode and I to the
hospital, the DNA tests are out. We are
meeting Naledi and her mothers there. I’m
having mixed emotions; Londeka was right
yesterday, A reasonable part of me already
knows what the results will say. It’s just that
a part of me that’s madly in love with Naledi
doesn’t want to believe that there’s any
chance she’s my daughter.
We get to the doctors office and find Naledi,
Manana and the minister sitting on the right
side and the couch on the left is empty. My
mother and I settle down after we exchange
greetings. My eyes are glued on Naledi and
hers are fixed on her entwined fingers. Can
she just look at me, I need to at least figure
out what’s going on in her head.
The door opens and the doctor walks in, he
greets us all and the tension in the room gets
so thick that one could cut through it with a
knife. He settles on his chair behind the desk
and opens the drawer, he comes back with a
white envelop and my eyes move to Naledi
once again. She’s nervously tapping her foot,
Manana clasps her hand and she looks to her
and smiles. I’d give anything for her to look at
me and smile right now.
“These are your results, I’m going to open
them now,” he says and tears the envelop.
“The test results says you’re 99.99% the
father,” Naledi drops her head between her
thighs and breaks down. I attempt to get up
to comfort her but MaZikode holds me back.
“Ma, she needs me,” I mutter with tears
welling up in my eyes.
“Uhm, I’ll give you the room for as long as you
need,” the doctor pushes his chair back and
leaves the room.
“My love, nothing has to change,” I say and my
mother and hers gasp in shock.
“Shlobosenkosi, are you out of your mind?” -MaZikode is horrified.
“No ma, I’m not. I love her and she loves me.
We didn’t know this before and we were
happy. Can we all just pretend that this never
happened and move on with our lives,” my
mother starts to cry.
“That can’t happen. I will never allow my
daughter to remain married to her own
father. I failed Naledi by not telling her how
she came into the world, maybe all of this
would have been avoided if I did. This is hard
on the both of you and I’m sorry but your
marriage and relationship is over,” I get up
and grab the table in the middle and throw it
to the wall. They are all startled, taken aback
by my reaction.
“Why are you people doing this to us? We are
in-love, we want to stay married and start
our own family. We will move away if it will
be too hard on all of you to live with us as
husband and wife instead of father and
daughter.”
The door opens, “Is everything okay in here?”
the doctor asks with a security guard peeping
behind him.
“Yes!” I shout, “I’ll replace the table,” I say
dismissively.
“Uhm, MaZikode. I’m taking Naledi back to the
lodge. We will wait to hear from Londeka,”
Manana says and helps Naledi up.
“Naledi. Please tell them that you love me and
want to be my wife, please,” she finally looks
at me.
“Stop it, Shlobo. Please, stop. You’re my father
damn it. We cannot stay married, that’s just
sick. I’m disgusted with myself for sleeping
with you for so long and enjoying it. You
should be too, not trying to convince
everyone else that this could work out. It’s
incest, it’s an abomination, a taboo, it’s every
word that says wrong!” her words break
everything inside of me.
“But I love you,” it comes out in a whisper.
“You’re not listening to me, we can not be, we
will never be again. Understand that.” she’s
spitting venom that’s slowly killing me from
the inside. I watch her leave like I meant
nothing to her, how can she walk out on me
so easily.