CHAPTER 78
NALEDI MOLETSANE

It has been days since I found out that the
love of my life, my husband and the father of
my child is actually my father. My life is like a
perpetual night, it feels like I’m stuck in a
nightmare and no matter how much I try to
escape it, I can’t find a way out. It hurts so
much, it hurts to my soul. All the happiness
I’ve felt since I met Shlobo has vanished
within a blink of an eye and all I’m left feeling
is intense pain.
We’ve been booked at this lodge in Shelly
Beach, waiting to hear the next step from the
Londeka woman. She wanted to start her
work immediately after she revealed the
truth to us, but MaZikode didn’t believe a
word of what was said. She demanded a DNA
test and my mother seconded the motion; I
didn’t have anything to say to the whole
thing. My world had just collapsed around me
for the second time in a short period. I was
still feeling the pain of losing my baby inside
of me then boom! The father of that same
baby I lost is also my father.
My phone has been off since we left
Mahlabathini. I haven’t spoken to my
daughter and I feel like a shitty mother. I
know that she’s okay with her dad, but she
still needs me and by now she has started to
ask questions. I believe Vhutshilo was told
what’s happening but he won’t be able to
explain to Bassie and I don’t think I want my
daughter to know about this abomination. In
fact, I don’t want the world to know this. I’m
already feeling disgusted by myself and the
last thing I need is walking in the streets and
having people pointing at me and whispering
behind my back. I don’t want to be known as
the girl that married her own father.
A knock comes through my door, I close my
eyes. I know my mother and Manana mean
well, but I’m just not in the mood to be told
that everything will be okay. It’s not,
everything is messed up and everyone needs
to accept that. I know it’s rude but they are
going to knock until they walk away.
“Mommy,” an angelic voice calls out and my
heart drops into my stomach.
Oh Lord, what is she doing here? I’m not in
the right frame of mind to see my baby.
Bassie doesn’t deserve to see her mother so
broken and lost.
“Naledi, please open,” Vhutshilo says softly
and I cover my mouth to muffle my sobs.
“Please, she misses you so much. I do too,” he
adds.
I can’t turn her back, I cannot hurt Basetsana
that way. I will just tell her that mommy is
no longer pregnant with her baby brother and
that’s why she has been sad. Yes, that will do,
plus, it’s still the truth.
I slowly get off the bed and wipe my tears. I
can do this, I have to do it for Bassie’s peace
of mind. I open the door and my heart swells
with love at the sight of my perfect girl. She
attacks me with a hug and I don’t hesitate
wrapping my arms around her and kissing the
top of her head.
“Mommy, I’ve missed you so much,” she
whimpers.
“I missed you too baby. I’m sorry for not
talking to you for so long,” she let’s go.
“What’s wrong? Why haven’t you come back
home?” she asks and my heart breaks even
further.
“Uhm, I… Huuuu! A lot has happened baby and
mommy just needed some time to think,” I
explain, my voice shaking.
Basetsana narrows her eyes.
“Your eyes are red, you’ve been crying. Please
tell me what’s wrong,” oh my little lady.
“Come baby,” I take her hand and lead her to
the bed. We sit down and I clasp both her
hands.
“Remember mommy told you that you’ll be
having a baby brother soon?” I ask and a huge
grin stretches across her gorgeous face.
“Yes, I’m so excited. I already asked daddy to
allow my brother to have a room at his
house,” her excitement makes me want to
keep the news from her, but it wouldn’t be
fair to allow her make plans for someone who
is gone.
“That was nice of you baby but that won’t be
necessary anymore,” she flares her nose,
confusion written all over her face.
“Basetsana, you’re still too young to
understand me fully,” I take a deep breath,
“Well mommy has been sad because she had
some complications that made her go to the
hospital. When I got there the doctors
checked me and told me that something bad
happened to your little brother and he died in
mommy’s belly,” she gasps in shock and a
second later tears well up in her eyes.
“I’m really sorry my princess. I know how
much you wanted to be a big sisi,” she lays
her head on my lap and cries. I am stroking
her hair, my eyes glued on Vhutshilo who is
folding his arms across his chest and
watching us with warm eyes.
“It’s going to be okay,” I mutter.
“I love you, mommy,” oh sweet Lord. My heart
skips a beat. I might have lost a lot these
past couple of days, but Bassie is a reminder
of God’s love for me.
“I love you, too, my baby.”
.
.
.
We are sitting on the bed, myself, Bassie and
her father. My daughter asked us to sandwich
her between us and watch a movie; My poor
baby must have missed chilling with both her
parents. It’s been a minute since we had such
moments, I mean things haven’t really been
great between Vhutshilo and I. Hopefully we
can move forward and let things of the past
be left in the past for our daughters sake.
A rough knock comes through my door and
even before I can answer the person pushes it
open and walks in. My heart stops beating
and my stomach knots. Why did he come
here? Does Shlobo have any idea what seeing
him will do to me? I can’t look at him or talk
to him, that’s why my phone has been
switched off. The wound is still fresh, I don’t
trust myself around him. Yes, he’s my fa…
Father, but the heart still longs for him in a
way that it shouldn’t.
“Baba!” Bassie exclaims, climbing off the bed
and hurrying to Shlobo with open arms. My
hus… Uhm, he kneels down and receives her.
“Hey, angel face. I miss you,” I close my eyes,
hurt by the perfect sight before me. They have
a great relationship and now it’s over, this
will affect Bassie badly.
“I miss you too. When are you and mommy
coming home?” she asks and I open my eyes
and find Shlobo’s pair on me. A shiver runs
down my spine.
“Soon baby, soon,” Why is he giving her hope?
He knows that things will never go back to
the way they used to be.
“Okay, I have a new piece I want to play for
you and mommy,” the cello, her new found
love. I miss listening to her play.
“I can’t wait to hear you play it,” he kisses
Bassie’s forehead, “Baby, can you and your dad
please give me and mommy a moment?”
Bassie nods vigorously.
“Daddy, can we go see if they have ice cream
at the restaurant?” she asks and Vhutshilo
climbs off the bed. Shlobo’s eyes are on my
daughters father, if looks could kill then
Vhutshilo would be six feet under.
“Will you be okay?” I nod vigorously and he
bends down and puts on his shoes before
leaving the room with Bassie. Soon as the
door closes, tension rises in the room.
“Hey,” he says in a shaking voice and I close
my eyes.
“W-why are you here?” he’s making things
harder.
“I had to see you, Naledi. I am losing my
mind,” he takes a few steps forward and I hold
out my hand to stop him.
“Please don’t do this, please,” tears stream
down his face.
“There has to be some kind of mistake, Naledi.
You cannot be my daughter. I refuse to
believe that God and the ancestors would
allow such to happen to us,” he’s hurt, just as
deeply as I am. We both wanted forever with
each other and it’s going to be difficult to
accept our reality because we have tasted the
happiness we brought to one another.
“I wish it wasn’t true as well, but it is and
there’s nothing we can do to change it,” he
shakes his head.
“Baby please. The results will come back
negative and we will go on with our lives.
Naledi you’re a Mavimbela because we are
married, not because you’re my daughter,” I’m
so desperate for that to be true but this is
too close to be just a coincident.
“I love you, mkami. Please don’t push me
away,” he caresses my face and his touch
sends fire all over my body.
“I feel it too, my love, that’s why it is
impossible for us to be father and daughter.
The child who is a product of my sperm is
somewhere out there, it’s not you,” he leans
in to give me a kiss but we are disturbed.
“Stop it! Stop it!” Manana yells and we step
away from each other, “She’s your daughter,
please don’t do this. It was a mistake at first
but now you’ll be doing it willingly,” she says
and Shlobo shakes his head, he’s a teary mess,
just like me.
“No! She’s my wife. Can you all stop it,” I’ve
never seen him this broken. My miscarriage
hurt him badly but we had each other at
least.
“I know it’s hard and I’m so sorry, but you
can’t do this. Please leave, we don’t want
Bassie getting a glimpse into this whole
thing,” he drops to his knees, clutching at his
chest.
“Manana please. She’s the love of my life.
What am I expected to do without Naledi?
What good is life if I’m not with her?” his
words finish me off.